Inspirational Thought of the Month

“There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

- Nelson Mandela

Meditate on this quote and think about what meaning it holds in your life.

Remember, no matter what, don't let someone else determine your destiny. If you don't follow your dreams or achieve your goals, you should only have yourself to blame.

Read more about finding the courage to live the life you are capable of living here.

Finding the Courage to Follow Your Dreams

"You're studying what? Oh..."
"Are you planning on living in a box on the street? Switch majors..."
"You might as well be studying basket-weaving!"
"That's just not feasible."
"You can't do it."

Have you heard any of the above, or something similar? Whoever utters those words to you is trying to discourage you from following your dreams. They might say that they have your best interest at heart, that they're just looking out for you or some other bogus rationale. However, that's just a cover-up for their true intentions. Whatever you do, don't let them stop you from living your dreams and defining your own path in life!

Ignoring the Naysayers, Haters & the Closed-Minded

For some reason, certain people seem to be threatened by those who follow their dreams, no matter what people say. These individuals could legitimately want to hurt you by trying to instill self-doubt and negativity into your "half full" mentality. They could just be bitter because they didn't do what they wanted to do with their lives. Some people, such as parents or relatives, just want you to play it safe because they want you to have a "secure" and "normal" career path.

Regardless of their reasons, the naysayers are trying to put you in a box and limit your potential whether they mean to or not. Now, we all know that you are FAR too fabulous to be placed in the square of the mundane.

Live the Life You've Imagined

Take the road less-traveled!

You only have one life. I know that's cliche, but I swear it is true. Also, we never know how long we have to live it. I know far too well that life is fleeting. Make the most of it! The other people out there who decide that they are too scared to go for it, do not live life to the fullest. Let them cheat themselves, just don't let them cheat you! It will be you on your deathbed saying, "I wish I had done that." - not them.

Try not to let fear of the unknown, failure or rejection keep you away from reaching your goals. There is no such thing as true success without experiencing failure. If one door closes, it just leaves room for the right door to be opened.

Turning Dreams into Reality - The Practical Way


Once you've found it within yourself to ignore the naysayers, it's a whole other story to find the courage to actually live your dream and reach your goals!

Finding or living your dream is more practical than most people think - it actually takes confidence, time, planning and serious introspection. To think, most people actually think you just woke up one day and decided to become a makeup artist all willy-nilly! It might seem that way from an outside perspective, but you have probably secretly had that dream for a long time.

Take the following steps to create your own reality:

1. Create a "life goals journal" or a "goal-setting workbook." Make sure to take some time away from the daily grind and dedicate at least 10 minutes a day to writing about what you want out of life. You can't achieve anything until you have concrete goals.

2. Inspire yourself. It's hard out there for a bold, fabulous risk-taker (You thought I was gonna say pimp...)! Make sure to prepare yourself for criticism or set-backs by repeating a mantra to yourself every morning before you go out into the world. Type it out on a small paper and tape it to your bathroom mirror. This mantra can be anything you find personally inspiring. You can even have more than one for different situations! One of my mantras is: "Don't block your blessings. Embody positivity. Live your dreams every day."

3. Research, Research, Research. If you are going to give your all to doing something, you better make sure that you know everything there is to know about it. Make yourself an expert in whatever field you want to go into. Once you are an expert, you already have an edge and will feel more confident in going after your dream. For instance, doctors know everything about the body. You wouldn't want a doctor who went to Roscoe's Med School and practices out of a van! It's the same for anything you choose to do.

4. Be Yourself. Put a bit of yourself into everything that you do. Be unique! You are already being bold, by going off the beaten path, so why not go all out and let your fabulous personality and creativity shine through? It's easy to look to successful people in your field for inspiration. That's perfectly fine and recommended, but don't try to emulate them. Be the next YOU.

5. Don't Give Up. Times will be guaranteed to get rough along your journey to the top. However, let your true inner strength shine through when you are faced with adversity. It's easy to quit, but you will be cheating yourself if you don't fight past the obstacles that come your way. Whenever you think of quitting, look at it this way - If you quit now, all the work you already did will be in vain and you will have wasted your precious time. That wouldn't be cool at all! Wasting your time is only hurting you. Remember: the night might seem long, but the morning is quickly approaching.

6. Surround Yourself With A+ People. Have you ever heard the saying, "Misery loves company"? Well, it's true! Imagine yourself - a bold, dreamer - surrounded by people who limit themselves to what's "normal" or "expected." It will be ten times harder to stick to your dreams when you are surrounded by such horrible energy. Surround yourself by people who share your goals and also strive for the best! Also, don't let your ego keep you from surrounding yourself with people who know more than you do! That is a key mistake that many people make. If you hang around with A+ people and you're a strong B, it's only a matter of time before they help you to become an A+ too! I'm not saying, ditch people, now. Try to help your friends expand their mentality to one of positivity and success, but if they aren't being open minded and are discouraging you - re-evaluate their position in your life.

Remember, you can do anything that you set your mind to. Only you can limit your potential. Don't let fear or other people decide which path you take in life. Listen to Robert Frost and "take the road less traveled." You might end up somewhere amazing, beyond your wildest dreams!

[True Self]: Makeup & Self Esteem (Includes Poll Results)

"Do you feel beautiful without makeup?" was a question that I posed to you, the readers, last week. According to the results, 66% of you said "Of course!," 25% said "Somewhat, I can make it work," and 8% said that they "Never leave home without it."

Makeup is something that is used for manifold (I love that word) reasons. It is used "to color and beautify the face," to cover up zits and scars, to create illusions and to just have fun with (it is definitely fun to play grown-up "dress-up" from time to time). As great of an invention as makeup is, should it be used as a security blanket? At which point does makeup use become a mask to hide behind, which is ultimately detrimental to one's self esteem?

Who is to blame for this phenomenon? I'm sure it is the perennial scapegoat - the media - yet again. You always see those "Celebrities Without Makeup" pictures plastered on tabloids. God forbid someone left their house without makeup. The media has persuaded women all over the world that we NEED makeup to validate our self image, instead of just want it to create fun looks or enhance natural beauty. I'm sure companies like Estee Lauder don't mind that you have low self esteem....

Aishwarya Rai with and without makeup. I think she looks nice without it, but the media always makes a huge fuss!

I will bet money that every single human being on this earth had a problem with self esteem at some point in their lives. Nobody is THAT arrogant (sometimes, it is even those seemingly arrogant individuals who have the worst issues).Yet, throughout all of the struggles with self-image, many people have that one thing that they do that makes them feel better. It could be a hobby, playing a sport, retail therapy or going to real therapy. Is putting on makeup equivalent to all of those things? Should it be?

Personally, I love makeup. However, I think that those of us out there who sincerely do not feel pretty (inside or outside) without makeup need to unhand the eyeshadow - even just for a day - and sit down and think about what qualities really make a person beautiful. If you sit down and write the qualities that you see in those who you think are beautiful, I'm sure that you will have jotted down something besides how they look on the outside. Trust me. You are beautiful. You have to see it too, or nobody else will. They won't be seeing the real you, but only a painted on facade.

Actually, I think that regardless of anything, every single last person who reads this should sit down for 5 minutes and write this list. Include characteristics about yourself that you find beautiful. When you've finished, you can use the list as a daily affirmation or to boost your spirits on "one of those days."

Some of my list is as follows (prepare for random stream of consciousness):

eyes, heart, kindness, giving, caring, goal oriented, smile, curves, laugh, voice, honesty, talent, jokes, intelligence, unique soul, poetic, joyous, dedicated, spontaneity.... What is on your list?

This list will be a reminder of who the REAL you truly is.

Besides this little exercise, here are some helpful tips to help boost your self-esteem in general or on a "fat"/"ugly"/"bad hair"/"horrible, terrible, no good, very bad" day:

• Get enough sleep, eat healthily, get regular exercise, take good care of yourself hygienically, etc.
  
• Plan a "Me, Myself & I" night in or out! Go to a movie, take a nap, get your nails done, plant a tree, buy a poodle, learn to meditate-whatever you love to do!
  
• Remind yourself of your strengths & achievements by making a list of things you like about yourself (We already did this).
  
• Forgive when you don't meet all of your goals. We are truly our own worst critic! Go easy on yourself sometimes, especially when you already feel down.


• If all else fails, fake it 'til you make it! When you treat yourself like you deserve to feel good about yourself, you'll begin to believe it!
  

I really hope this helps! I know I'll be referring back to this myself when I feel down (tee hee)

Source: http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/selfesteem/selfest.html

[True Self]: The Beauty of Risk

Sometimes in life, the best accomplishments are the ones that you risked it all to achieve. You appreciate those victories more because even if you failed at your endeavor, you would still be satisfied in the fact that you gave your whole heart to something. As women, we are cautious with giving our whole hearts to anything lest we get hurt or fail to live up to the perceptions of others. However, giving your whole heart (arteries, ventricles and all) to all that you do is the only way to truly live life the way we were meant to. Don't shortchange yourself out of life because of past hurts or what others think of what you are doing. Trust me, the naysayers are living their lives. Don't let ANYONE stop you from living yours to the maximum. Today, I want you to do something that you have always wanted to do but were scared to. Ask for the promotion you deserve. Pursue that modeling career that you've always wanted to. Go and claim that degree. Get an edgy haircut. Paint your nails lime green. A positive risk is always worthwhile if it will lead to your happiness. A life without regret is beautiful. Truly.

[True Self]: New Year, Better You.

Every year, when the glimmering crystal ball drops at the stroke of midnight, we all tell ourselves that we will finally live our lives the way we really want to - on our own terms. Many people resolve to do all of the things they wanted to do and didn't get a chance to, such as skydiving, going on a road trip or reading the Bible from cover to cover (my resolution for the past 5 years and counting). People also resolve to spend more time with loved ones, make bold career moves and get in shape. However, despite our amazing intentions on January 1st, do we ever really stick to our goals and resolutions?

www.43things.com is a really neat Web site that I found that makes it a little bit easier to hang tough with your goals, with a healthy mix of peer pressure, positive thinking and self fulfilling prophecy. All you have to do is sign up to join the community of fellow goal-setters and make a list of your goals. From there, you can write journal entries about your progress, update your list and view the goals and resolutions of thousands of people across the world! How cool is that?

I started my own page and hopefully I will have much more success in meeting my goals from 2008 than in previous years. I hope that you find it helpful too.

Here are some other tips to make it easier to achieve your New Year's resolutions:

• Set measurable goals (i.e. "I want to lose ten pounds in 6 months")
• Make sure that you have a plan for goals that are harder to achieve, such as getting into grad school. Do your research on schools, buy a book or sign up for a Kaplan course and work hard. Setting the goal is just the first step.
• Find people you know who also have the same goals. Hitting the gym together or studying at the library with company will make your goals seem more achievable.
  

I wish everyone only the best in 2008. It is a new year brimming with all the potential in the world. It's your job to make it happen!

[True Self]: Finding Your Inner Beauty

Young women the world over spend hundreds of hours and millions of dollars scouring magazines and crowded department store beauty counters on their never-ending mission of conforming to the standards of beauty set by the fashion and advertising world. Although many cannot fathom this revelation - real beauty does not lie in a tube of lip gloss, or in any glamorous packaging for that matter. True beauty is a sparkle in your eye, a bounce in your step, a positive attitude, a healthy body and inner confidence that comes from knowing that you are a beautiful child of God (or whichever higher power you believe in). Although many people feel that when you look good, you feel good, I truly believe that most people have to feel good on the inside to be motivated to look good. The focus should be on your inner beauty before you obsess over your outward appearance.

Inner beauty is hard to achieve in this stressful world because of the demands of school, work, family and relationships. Today, young women feel pressure to reach the highest levels of success so that they can get a college degree and provide for their families one day. Young women of color have additional stresses because this country is not yet free of the shackles of ignorance, prejudice or sexism. However, in all cultures there are employers that tell us that we are not experienced enough, colleges that tell us we aren't smart enough, men that batter our self-esteem, "friends" that do not have your best interest at heart and insecure people that try to bring us down to their level (better known as "haters").

Although it is sometimes hard to realize, each and every one of us has the potential to reach the point of self-acceptance that comes with realizing that we are beautiful no matter what we look like on the outside (Yes, even on bad hair days, fat days and when you are rocking your rattiest sweats) and no matter what anybody else thinks about you.

Fight the stereotypes and images that have been subliminally placed in your head by Hollywood and Madison Avenue. Skinny can be beautiful, but it is not the only beautiful body shape. Hair in all textures and styles is beautiful as long as it makes you feel like your best you. Most importantly, all skin complexions are beautiful despite the centuries-long stigma and "colorism" that was planted within Black societies to tear us apart.

Fight the negativity that can surround and overtake you. Although the going may be tough, remember why you are working so hard. Make sure to set goals for yourself and follow through with each of them to the best of your ability, despite the people who tell you that it can't be done. If you set your mind and heart to something positive, you will achieve success. They key is a mixture of believing in yourself, hard work, preparation, persistence and faith. Knowing that you posses boundless potential will give you inner confidence that shines through.

Fight the urge to sacrifice your needs to make other people happy. Young women tend to put others first neglect themselves for two main reasons. The first reason is that they have an insatiable drive for achievement. However, remember that you define your own success, not others. Another reason is that they have a fear of disappointing people. Learn how to say "no" and mean it. One person cannot do everything. There is only so much weight that you can place on your shoulders before you fall to your knees. It is key to remember that you can't take on the burdens of other people, no matter how much you want to help, if you have not put your own life together first.

In addition, stress is not sexy. It is not the latest on the catwalks in Paris or Bryant Park. Proper planning and organization of your life can help you to achieve a proper balance and reduce the everyday stress in your life. You must make sure to plan time for eating healthy meals, sleep, exercise and "me time" each and every day between classes, work and other activities. Young women of the world, take note. You must invest time in yourselves. Take the time to develop a hobby, learn a language or read novels. There can only be one you, so make yourself the best that you can be.

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but nobody on this earth can deny beauty of a person that emanates it from within.